The last article i wrote was for women. I sent the link to a male friend of mine, and he said “It’s for women, not reading”. Told him he would learn something but he wouldn’t budge. So, this is for the men. ( Wonder what his excuse will be this time *smiles*).
Respect is not achieved or gained by merely ordering someone to respect you. It is earned. You earn it by how you speak, act and by who you are. It is general knowledge that a woman is expected to have genuine respect for her spouse. It is her duty. I read an article online sometime ago about love and respect. It says, “All women want to be loved and all men want to be respected”. Expressly, it is said that men who love their wives tend to be respected, and that women who respect their husbands tend to receive love. It is also true that the best way a man can get what he needs from his wife is to both give her what she needs and what he needs from her (Love/Respect).
Here are a few ways to earn your wife’s respect
1. Appreciate and Honor her.
Please do not treat her as if she were an inferior person. She is your help-meet. Whatever you deserve, she also deserves. Help her use her God given skills as a home maker. Make sure she knows how much you value and appreciate her. Be interested in what she does or is doing. Talk about her work, day, health, etc. Encourage her, commend her accomplishments. Accept the fact that your spouse is contributing to the family, else, think of the cost of hiring a cook, dishwasher, house keeper, nurse-maid, decorator, paying constantly for laundry, and accountant (keeping record of home expenses).
2. Be a good provider
Have an arrangement for controlled spending; this helps you to live within your means. Nowadays, women have taken up the responsibility of providing for the home. It should not be! 1 Timothy 5:8 says, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel”. Yes, a woman can and should contribute to the upkeep of the family, as supporting and maintaining the family is a joint effort. It should not be her sole responsibility. Women who assume this role struggle in the place of respect for their spouses. They go through so many emotional traumas. Some women accept it, some overcome it. When a woman is the provider in the family, it takes grace to still hold her man in high esteem. Also, being a good provider isn’t just monetary. Support, advice, prayers, a shoulder to lean on, insight, etc are good areas where a man can and should provide for his wife.
3. Follow through on your promises
Integrity! This is a byproduct of respect. When your spouse knows where you stand and knows you’ll follow through, then her respect is part of the package. Words matter so much to women. What you say, How you say it and When you say it. Never make vain promises to your spouse.
4. Be a good decision maker.
Sir, please show yourself as strong, steady and able to make good decisions. You are a leader, and making good decisions is a vital attribute in a leader. Your wife becomes totally confident in your abilities. This doesn’t mean your spouse’s opinion is unimportant. As a matter of fact, women make good decisions too. When you involve her in decision making, it encourages her to express her thoughts and feelings freely. You are human and will certainly make mistakes and when you do, you’ll need her understanding. If you give your spouse her rightful place in the home and in your life, when you make mistakes, she would find it easy to understand and respect your head-ship without saying ‘i told you so”.
As a man, you have Christ as your head. If you set the example of submission to the head-ship of Christ, it will not be difficult for your spouse to respect you. You might not demand respect from your wife, but your deeds will earn it for you!
There’s more to come, look out!!